


I feel like I'm suffocating when I look at you

by heecheondo (bERUkUN)



Category: CLC (Band)
Genre: AND HOW COME THE FEW CLC FICS THAT EXIST AREN'T MAINLY CLC BUT WITH THEM AS SECONDARY CHARACTERS, Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, HOW COME SEUNGJIN HAS NO TAG, HOW COME THERE ARE SO LITTLE CLC FIC IN THE FIRST PLACE, I'm here to fix it, POV Third Person, Yujin-centric, altho yeeun's is still jang, because that's how they/cube romanizes, but real talk tho, chang instead of jang (for seungyeon), elkie is a sweetie i love her, seunghee just wanna help, seungyeon idk tbh just read uwu, yeeun is a sassy know-it-all dongsaeng in here, yujin instead of yoojin, yujin is a cute lesbian with a crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-11
Updated: 2018-01-11
Packaged: 2019-03-03 07:41:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13336566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bERUkUN/pseuds/heecheondo
Summary: Yujin knew her best friend wouldn't even look at her, not when a whole Seunghee-sunbae existed. Seungyeon would never pick her over the older girl.





	I feel like I'm suffocating when I look at you

**Author's Note:**

> I hate that this is my first f/f and gg fic my meninist ass needs to be beaten.... anyway expect more f/f works by mister arthur aka heecheondo, specially clc and goodday uwu  
> also.... this is low key in the same universe as [a little more than two series](http://archiveofourown.org/series/716934) (more specifically this happens at the same time as part one), but this is totally unrelated. changgu n shinwon is literally onme mentioned once, they barely appear in here nor the girls in that series (that I _still_ didn't finish, shame on me) so you don't need to read that before this and vice versa. I think..... can I count this as like a spin-off ??????? LOL,,,,,,,,,,  
>  note: I refer to yujin as petite most of the time but their profiles are all confusing,,,, I looked at namuwiki and it said seunghee's 161, yujin is 162 and seungyeon is 161.2 BUT there is a note on 2seung saying their profile actually said 163 with a long ass explanation that I did not fully understand as my korean lacks a lot.............. but anyway if the fic says 'petite', it's yujin!  
> [ ~~bop~~ I mean title credit](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQGRg8XBnB4)  
>  enjoyyyyyyyy

"Seunghee-unnie is so cool, don't you think, Yujin-ah?"

The petite girl blinked at her best friend and nodded without really hearing what she's said. She couldn't help it, Seungyeon was so pretty and breathtaking, the slightly older girl got distracted easily whenever she was around. 

Well, Choi Yujin was a _huge_ lesbian with this _huge_ crush on Chang Seungyeon, so she really couldn't help it. It was a shame that her best friend didn't think the same of her, considering how much she talked about their one year older unnie and sunbae, Oh Seunghee. 

"Today I was searching for a soundproof practice room and she was practising too, you know? I think she left the door to her room open because every time I walked through the corridors I could hear her amazing voice", the younger of the two sighed deeply. Yujin would usually just ignore her rambling and nod from time to time to pretend she wasn't, as she's heard all of it so many times and it ached a bit every time, yet this time she was actually listening to it. Probably because their theoric classes were super boring, worse than Seungyeon's monologue. "She's just so cool, the coolest. Have you heard her singing? She hits those high notes so easily, I'm a bit jealous of her."

"Don't be, Seungyeon-ah", the smaller girl said automatically, but then she looked at her, silently asking her to elaborate, and she gulped. " _What_? You might not be the best singer but you're a stunning dancer. Isn't that your major anyway? That's why you're almost on top in our classes. So… don't worry about that."

She didn't know what she was saying, but that made her best friend smile sweetly while blushing _oh_ so cutely and her chest hurt.

It hurt how much she was deep in love with her.

"So, you gonna do something this weekend?"

Yujin stared back at her. "That was a very random change of subject", she remarked while the younger just smiled in return. "Why you're asking?"

"Well, you keep yourself busy with practice most of the time so I have to ask before planning anything."

The petite girl smiled at her, voice with a teasing tone. "And what are you planning this time that is so important for me to come, Miss Chang?"

"Unnie is going to have a performance next Saturday! I really don't wanna miss it but I also would rather to not go alone, you know. We could all eat together afterwards too!"

 _Ah_. What a mood killer. "Unnie as in…"

"Seunghee-unnie, of course! I've invited Changgu too but he said he was busy, something about hanging out with Shinwon-oppa? I forgot. Anyway, it'd be just us two and unnie, unless she brings someone else but I think she won't."

Usually, she'd go with the slightly younger girl wherever she asks without a second thought, but she felt a bitter taste in her mouth. She'd probably have to third wheel and have the worst day ever, with her heart about to break the entire day, so she shook her head. "Actually you were right, I gotta practice. Sorry, Seungyeon-ah."

The younger girl looked a bit disappointed for a short second, but then she was smiling brightly and told her to not apologize, that it was all cool. Yujin had probably imagined the sad look then. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Hey unnie", Yeeun said brightly, sitting beside the older girl. "What you doing here? You usually never come to the library."

Yujin blinked quickly, a habit she had when she was nervous or cornered. "Can't I come by whenever I want?"

"Of course you can! It's just", she moved her head a bit closer to the older yet smaller girl, "you're not using the library to hide, right?"

"Wh- wha- why would I do that!", she started to laugh nervously.

Yeeun smiled amusedly. "You're _really_ easy to read, Yujin-unnie. Besides, you usually spend your breaks in between classes with Seungyeon-unnie, which says a lot too."

She kept blinking. "It does?"

"Yup. I mean, _obviously_. You're glued almost all the time, so for you to not be with her right now…", she then made a loud gasp, realizing something. "You're avoiding her!"

"Yah, tone down your voice, Jang Yeeun!", she hissed, then sighed. " _Maybe_ I'm avoiding Seungyeonie, okay? Why does it matter anyway?"

Yeeun pouted a bit, but her face seemed worried. "It doesn't. It's just unusual, and I worry, you know? I'm a dongsaeng but I still have the right to."

Yujin rolled her eyes and stared at the history book in front of her, trying to block the younger girl. "I'm fine, really, there's no need to worry."

There were a few seconds of silence until the other girl spoke again. "Did you two argue or something? I don't think I've seen you two do so and I've known you two for over a year now."

She sighed, closing her book. "If I tell you will you leave me alone?"

"Maybe."

Yujin sighed once again, moving closer to her dongsaeng so no one else would hear it. "I'm in love with Seungyeon."

Yeeun looked unamused at that. "We been knew, unnie. Next."

The older started blinking again. "You knew it? _How_?"

"Unnie, I told you. You are the easiest person to read, at least from people I know."

She left a quiet groan - that wasn't as quiet as she wanted to - and dropped her head onto the table. Maybe some people nearby were staring at her? But she didn't care, too embarrassed. Yujin's head banging on the library's table and making a loud sound was _nothing_ comparing to this. A thought then hit her and she quickly looked up again, startling Yeeun who was wondering if she was still alive. "Oh my God, please tell me Seungyeon does _not_ know this!"

The younger just shrugged. "How can I know? I'm not her. But she's smart and quickwitted, I wouldn't doubt it."

Yujin dropped her head once more.

"Bu- but that's not a bad thing, right? If unnie knows about your feelings and still hangs out with you--"

"Seungyeonie is obviously in love with Seunghee-unnie!"

Yeeun stared a few seconds at her unnie's face until she snorted. "Unnie, you're the slowest dummy I know."

"Hey! It's true! She keeps talking about how unnie's the best and how she's talented with that love glare and keeps inviting me to watch her performances and hang out with her and it's so painful! I feel like she wants me to approve their future relationship or something."

"What makes you think it's a crush?"

"What makes you think it's _not_?"

The younger girl stared at her, still with an unamused glare. "I don't even know what to say."

"Because you agree she's obviously in love with Seunghee-unnie?"

"No, because you're a dummy."

Yujin rolled her eyes. "Why am I talking to you? I have to study."

Yeeun laughed a bit. "Choi Yujin studies? Wow, _that_ I didn't know."

"Shut up, Yeeun-ah."

"Yes ma'am."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Seungyeon waved at her and patted the sit by her side, and even if Yujin wanted to sit somewhere else this time, she forced herself to sit down. It's been almost three weeks since the younger girl invited her - for the nth time - to an event Seunghee would sing, and also almost three weeks since she's been spending her free time in the library (or in a practise room) instead of hanging out with her best friend. They still talked quite often, so the petite girl didn't think it'd bother Seungyeon.

It did.

"Hey there, you've been distant lately. Is something the matter?"

Yujin started quickly blinking and she hated it, because her best friend _obviously_ knew what it meant. "I just… have been focusing a bit more on my studies, that's all."

"Really? That's good, I think."

"You…  _think_?"

Seungyeon got a bit flustered at that, Yujin noticed. "Of- of course! I thought you weren't feeling well or were having some problem--"

"I would've told you otherwise--"

"--or maybe I have done something and you were mad at me."

The two of them stopped speaking at the same time, each staring at the other. Yujin quietly gulped, feeling a bit nervous at that.

"It... it's not it, right? It's just studies--"

Although her eyes kept blinking, Yujin wanted to deny it and assure Seungyeon hadn't done a thing wrong, that _yes_ it was just studies. But before she could open her mouth, the teacher called both of their attention, telling them he has just arrived and would rather their 'gossiping' to stop. The older girl went scarlet in seconds, looking away from her best friend, who just whispered an apology and decided to focus on the class for the rest of the hour.

The older girl felt a bit guilty at that, she couldn't lie. Okay, _yeah_ , she was avoiding Seungyeon, but she did nothing wrong! Unless being super adorable and lovely counts as a bad thing, but Yujin was certain the younger girl couldn't do a thing to stop being adorable and lovely so it definitely was not a _bad_ thing. She's been avoiding her for her own reasons, really, it had nothing to do with her best friend. It was her personal issues, her messy feelings. Just that. 

And that was she was about to say once class ended, that the taller girl had nothing to worry about, but…

"Oh, unnie, were you waiting for my class to end? _Cute_."

 _Great_. And there was Seungyeon's favourite unnie and sunbae in front of their classroom's door. 

Yujin did _not_ hate Seunghee, okay? Her timing was just too off with the petite girl and it was quite bothersome. And Seungyeon had called her cute… she couldn't help but dislike this feeling, this moment, this timing. But not _her_.

"Yeah, you said we'd meet up after class, but since you didn't message me back I supposed you hadn't seen what I said so here I am", she smiled and then looked at the older of the duo. "Hey, Yujinie, long time no see."

The small girl nodded respectfully to her senior but didn't open her mouth.

Seungyeon slapped her forehead. "I left my phone at home, I'm so sorry unnie."

Seunghee sighed. "It's okay, don't worry. I'm here now, right?"

The youngest nodded and then looked at Yujin. "Maybe you wanna come?"

That caught the petite girl off guard. "What?", she asked, and then she realized she wasn't the only one: Seunghee had asked the same thing at the same time. 

"What? Yujinie could give her opinions as well, don't you agree, unnie?"

Seunghee seemed in thought but Yujin didn't wait for her to speak once again. She knew if the older decided to invite her too Seungyeon would never let her decline. "I still have a lot of stuff to pick up though."

She decided to pout after the last word, Seungyeon staring at it and fighting a smile. Why would she smile over a pout? But then she sighed. "Okay, I won't bother your studying session. Send me a message when you finish though, okay? We have to talk."

Yujin nodded calmly, hoping she hadn't seen the nervousness in her eyes. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"You're the dumbest unnie I know."

Yujin casually - as _casually_ as it could be - banged her head on the cafeteria's table, hoping it didn't make her and her dongsaeng's drink fall. Yeeun was right: she was dumb. The dumbest.

"Yeeun, don't be harsh with her", Elkie said, patting the older girl's head. Yujin's initial plan was to quickly ramble to the younger Korean girl about her painful love life, but once she found her she was with the exchange student's company. She wasn't personally close to her but she was actually glad she was there comforting her. Yeeun would never comfort her, just laugh at her face then try (and probably fail) to help her, but hey, at least she was a good listener.

"Let her be, Elkie, she's right", the older said while getting up, lips up forming a pout. "I really am dumb for falling in love with my best friend who's obviously in love with our sunbae."

Yeeun rolled her eyes. "This is not why you're dumb! You're dumb for silently suffering over nothing!"

"Seungyeon's not _nothing_."

"Not what I meant, unnie, oh my God", the girl looked like she was about to explode. "Why do I even care again?"

"Because you're a good friend?", the foreigner tried.

The two youngers shared a glare. "Okay, you're right Elkie. Unnie", she then turned to the older, "you have to confess to Seungyeon-unnie."

"I like having a best friend, thank you very much."

She once again rolled her eyes. "What makes you think she'll turn her back to you once you confess?"

Yujin sighed and, honestly, she didn't know why. She just _feared_.

Yeeun continued. "Really, unnie, it would be for the best."

"But she likes--"

It was Yeeun's turn to drop her head at the table, startling her two companions. "I give up."

Elkie cleared her throat. "Can I try to give advice? I know we barely know each other but--"

Yujin found herself slowly nodding.

"I agree with Yeeun, you should tell her your feelings. Even if she doesn't feel the same way, it'll be better if you stopped keeping it to yourself, and if she really is your best friend she wouldn't leave you _just_ because of that. She is your _best_ friend after all."

The older girl sighed. "Alright, alright, you two win. I'll try to confess to her."

Yeeun just then got her head up at that and - oh my _God_ her forehead _was so red!_ "Finally Choi Yujin decided to stop being dense for once. Is this a dream? It feels like one."

"Shut up", Yujin and Elkie both said in unison, which made them both giggle at themselves. Elkie could be a good friend of hers, the older mentally noted. 

"O~ _kay_ then, Jang Yeeun is shutting up", she said, drinking her iced tea.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yujin should have planned her confession properly. And by planned she meant not just randomly step by Seungyeon's door expecting her to be home.

Okay, she was home. But she was not alone.

"Oh, hey Yujin-ah."

Oh _God_ no.

"Unnie, what are you doing at Seungyeon's house?"

The older girl seemed a bit embarrassed at that, eyes looking everywhere but at the shorter girl. She felt as if she had invaded something really private and was about to excuse herself when the door opened a bit more, exposing the owner of the house.

"Yujin-ah! You could've warned me you'd come, come in, come in!"

She started blinking repeatedly, chest hurting. "Are you sure you want me to come in? If I'm interrupting something I can step by another time--"

"Nonsense! It'll actually be good if you come in now."

The slightly older girl _really_ doubted that but she did as told, taking off her shoes and quietly entering the house. She looked around the place, a bit familiar considering she's been there before, yet also a bit… different. She couldn't exactly name it though. 

"So, why did you come by?"

Yujin gulped, now feeling extremely nervous. She maybe had bought the older girl chocolate and was going to give them to her after confessing? Maybe even during. But she couldn't do it now, not with both Seungyeon and Seunghee staring at her. 

She sighed. "What, can't I visit my best friend? Although I guess I should've warned you before."

Seungyeon got flustered at that and the older girl couldn't help but find her _so_ adorable. "Of course you can! I just thought maybe you would-- well, never mind. It doesn't really matter now, does it?"

Yujin felt like crying internally but decided to just nod. "So, uh… what were you two doing? If I can ask."

Seungyeon looked at the oldest girl's direction, with her staring back at her. The petite girl felt her chest hurting a bit, but then the younger girl was smiling at her instead. "Unnie have been helping me with a performance."

She started blinking again. "Oh."

"Yeah, I kind of invited you before to hear our practise but you said you were busy. I forgot telling you what it was about though", the younger girl started caressing the top of her own head shyly. 

So that was it. "Well, you could show me now?"

The two girls shared another glare. "I don't think it's a bad idea, Seungyeon-ah."

She sighed in response, but soon was once again smiling. "Sure."

Yujin had expected a dance performance, considering the girl's major. But instead, the girl put on an instrumental of a song she did not recognize and started singing to it, and it was so _pretty_. It was obvious how much practice she had put in it, considering she had never taken any singing classes before. It was breath taking.

"Woah", the short girl said once the song ended. Seungyeon started blushing, clearly embarrassed. "That was amazing! I didn't know you had it in you."

"Right?", Seunghee said with a proud smile, and Yujin thought,  _oh yeah unnie was here too_. "I told her how amazing her voice sounds but she did not believe me."

The younger playfully slapped the older's shoulder. "Come on unnie, you're super nice to me. My voice cracked on our first week and you said it was okay, it's obvious I'd not believe you."

Wait. 

_On our first week?_

Yujin's heart skipped a beat. Are they... are they dating? Are they actually dating, and she's been crushing on a taken girl this whole time? 

By the way, why didn't Seungyeon tell her? Weren't they supposed to be best friends? 

Seunghee rolled her eyes. "Anyway, I have to go, otherwise I'll be late for work. See you, Seungyeon, Yujin."

"See you unnie! And thank you for the help", the youngest said while Yujin just waved at her. 

"Uh, maybe I should get going too--", she started, but was stopped by the younger girl. 

"But you barely arrived! And it's been a while since you last visited, so please don't go already."

She wanted to refute, but her best friend gave her a sweet and cute yet pleading look and she could _not_ say no to that. "Fine."

Seungyeon repeatedly clapped her hands in excitement. "We could watch some series! Sit down, I'll make some quick popcorn."

Yujin sighed but did as told. 

She'd have to tell her another day. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The 'another day' seemed to get further and further as the days passed. Yeeun kept giving her a knowing glare when they met, but maybe it could've been worse. She could've spilled the beans herself. 

She sighed. Yujin was currently in a dance practice room with Seungyeon, both of them planning a duet dance together and. Seungyeon was so _hot_ it was unfair. She wasn't even trying, she was just dancing to the choreography they made together, but her charisma, her glare, they were so intense. And it really didn't help that the younger girl was sweaty, really. 

"I think we should take a break for now", the girl said, looking at the petite girl who seemed to be in a trance. "Yah, Yujin-ah. Earth to Yujin? Choi Yujin!"

After the last shout, the girl finally moved. "I'm gay! I mean, I'm okay! _Okay_. I obviously meant okay."

Seungyeon giggled at that but did not say a thing about it, instead, she simply threw herself on the floor. Yujin decided to do the same, the duo falling into a comforting silence after a while.

"Hey, Yujin."

"Yeah?"

"I think I'm in love."

Ah, it comes now, Yujin thought. She breathed in and out slowly, knowing what to expect. "I knew it."

Seungyeon stared quickly at her. "You _knew_?!"

The older smiled quietly but did not look at the other's direction. She'd probably cry. "Hey, we've been best friends since freshman year, I know you very well. It was written all over your face, you know, the way you looked and don't get me start about the endless hours of compliments I had to hear!"

She couldn't see it, but the younger girl was pouting. "I didn't even know myself until some days ago."

"Really? Why would you start dating someone if you weren't sure you love them?"

She heard a snort. "What do you mean?"

Yujin finally stared at the other girl, her face with a confused expression. "Haven't you and Seunghee-unnie started dating a couple months ago?"

There was another silence between the two - not a comforting one this time though - but it was soon broken with Seungyeon laughing loudly. " _What_?! What made you think I'm dating unnie?"

She blinked. "You are _not_?"

"No! Yujin-ah, unnie's taken for, like, almost a year now! And to an oppa!"

"Unnie's _straight_?!"

The younger girl started laughing louder this time. "I don't know, might be. Stop avoiding the question though!"

The petite girl sighed. "You were always talking about how cool she is, how pretty her voice is, kept asking me to meet her with you, so I thought, _'ah, Seungyeonie obviously has a crush on unnie, that's cute'_. But then when I visited you and you said _'during our first week'_  and I was like _'what? they've been dating and didn't tell me? it's been how many weeks since then?'_ so I just put two and two together and-- Okay stop laughing at me! You _asked_!"

"Sorry, sorry! It's just-- seriously, when I said that I meant the first week of our meetings. Seunghee-unnie has been tutoring me with my singing, that's all."

"Okay. And about the endless compliments and loving glares?"

Seungyeon stared at the roof. "I just really admire unnie. She really is super cool, I aspire to be like her someday. It's not a crush."

"Oh. I see."

The younger girl then stared at the smaller one. "The one I'm crushing on is actually you."

Yujin could _feel_ her face grow scarlet at that. "Excuse me?! You can't be serious."

"What? I am, super serious. One hundred percent serious. Never been as serious before."

"Alright damn, I got it. I just", she started, but then hid her face with both hands and started to laugh nervously, giggling to herself, yet started shouting the next moment. "Oh my God I am so dumb! Jang Yeeun I hate you so much! I hate how smart you are!"

Seungyeon stared at her more confused than ever. "What does she have to do with all of this?"

Yujin sighed, then looked at the other girl. The next moment she rolled to her until she was almost on top of the younger.

"What are you--"

"I love you too."

And before she could react, the older gave her a quick peck on her lips. "I still don't understand what Yeeun has to do with this."

"Shut up and kiss me, Seungyeon-ah."

She could tell the other girl was still confused, but she still did as told.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(" _Finally_ ", Yeeun shouted as soon as she saw the newly formed couple sitting together in the cafeteria. Elkie smiled embarrassedly in behalf of her same age friend.

"Hello you too, Yeeun-ah, Elkie-yah", the younger of the two said. Yujin was currently eating the cake her new girlfriend has just fed her, so she just nodded her head slightly at the two of them.

"Look at you two, being all cute and shit. That's so adorable."

"Yeeun, you really should let our unnies live a little."

She pouted. "Me? I'm the one who's been told to be quiet all the time!"

"Yet you still haven't done it", Yujin noted. Seungyeon smiled sweetly at her girlfriend and kissed her cheek.

"Why do I still hang out with you two?"

"Because you--"

"Yes, I know I love them, Elkie. Thanks for the reminder."

The Hong Kong girl smiled at her, not offended by her remark. "You're welcome, dear friend.")

**Author's Note:**

> sorry this looks shitty but I tried haaaaaaaaaaaaa.... anyway, hmu @ [my twt](https://twitter.com/heecheondo) or @ [my cc](https://curiouscat.me/heecheondo)


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